On top of that, the countless meetings that I attend, the counselling I've had to give my people totally drained me. I had to have my "me" time. My wife's birthday compelled me to do something special too. It was her once in a decade birth year (I won't reveal the decade because she will be mad at me).
I also need to attend a course through the weekend until Tuesday. The course is a rehash of what I've learned previously but I have to train newcomers on a new method of advisory. It lasts from 9 am to 7 pm from Saturday to Tuesday. I came home today and crashed out till 8 pm. I wanted to take my wife out for a nice romantic dinner, something she deserves for being so good to me. But I was absolutely spent. My wife had to work through the Saturday as well so she did not feel up to it either. So we both ate a sumptuous dinner of instant noodles with laksa flavour and watched HBO.
The movie turned out to be the highlight of my day. It was called "The Blind Side". It was about a black kid named Michael Oher who was placed in various foster homes as his mother was a crack addict. His uncle placed him in a good Christian school in the hope that he will set his life right. It wasn't smooth sailing as he was poor as a church mice. Then a devout, white Christian family decided to take him in as he was frequently hungry and slept in the gym. He had athletic capabilities, 1.93m, weighing over 142 kg. He quickly became an American football star in his high school and with rapidly improved grades he managed to gain a scholarship to a university. He was drafted into an NFL team in 2009. It was truly a rags to riches story where he not only lived a dream life, though he never had a bed in his early life. He also found love and warmth in a white, middle class family, an unlikely scenario.
You can watch the interview of Michael in the youtube link below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwE1iXf_3ao&feature=related
The movie was based on a true story. I guess fairy tales do come true. One thing that struck me in the interview was that Michael Oher always thought he would be "alright" because he said he had that "inner drive" in him. It struck a chord with me because inner drive is what we all need to become a success, and to turn our lives around. I've seen people who are very intelligent but without drive. They just get by in life, without making an impact on this world, or make this world a better place. I've seen people with lots of drive and with above average intelligence. Even with the most disadvantaged backgrounds, they have this amazing ability to turn their lives around.
I think Singapore should celebrate the success of people from broken homes, living in poverty, or with disabilities overcoming overwhelming odds to become successes in life. There is less to celebrate if you succeed am wealth. The opportunities will always be there if you're rich. You'll get the best private tutors, find favour among teachers and principals because you know how to please the establishment. Through connections, doors will open even though you may not deserve them. Your parent's friends will give you a leg up in life even if you barely deserve it. Even if you're only average academically, don't worry, your dad's scholarship can send you to a university overseas that badly needs donations. You'll still graduate with a shiny degree.
If you're poor, the world looks down on you. Your parents' friends are probably poor too, and also have lots of bad habits like always gambling and over-drinking. So the influences in your life are probably not so great. You probably cannot afford to hire tutors so you either are academically proficient or you slip through the cracks of society. You would probably hang out with kids of the same socio economic class. Chances are, you'll probably find it difficult but not impossible to excel academically. You have no multi-million dollar businesses to inherit from your parents, no second option of going to a foreign university if you can't get into the local University. Your opportunities are far less. It'll always be an uphill battle if you're poor.
I've never forgotten my roots. I've had to work through university, as a tutor, working in fish and chips shops over the weekend. In the army, they put me into very dangerous units protecting our shores from hostile elements. When I came back, it was just before the Asian Crisis and a short period of economic growth was followed by 3 years of recession, from the bursting of the tech bubble to SARS.
The morale of the story for those who read this blog is this: if you've fallen down, you need an inner drive to turn your life around. Nothing is going to be given to you on a silver platter. You have to fight for it. Then when you get it, never forget your roots. Give back to society by helping others' of similar backgrounds to you. For every successful Michael Oher, there will be tens, perhaps hundreds of street kids who ended up flipping burgers, in jails. Never give up. Never forget.
There's more on Michael Oher's life if I've piqued your interest.
http://www.chasingthefrog.com/reelfaces/blindside.php
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